How To Make Friends With Me- Part One.

I am thinking of handing this circular out to people at parties and to my mobile phone contact list.

1) Please do not talk to me, if you’d like to then please behave.
3) also please do not take offense if I’m MIA
4) I’ve made big strides in being available and functional as a friend but I am still inherently private
5) brush your teeth
6) wash regularly versus odorizing in all its smells
7) mobile phones have caller ID
8) If I don’t answer the phone please don’t call me repeatedly
9) text if you cant reach. I too might worry that you’re dead especially after 10pm.
10) you are excused from cell-phone etiquette if you are above 60 or very pretty
11) you are excused from all kinds of etiquette for being wise and/or pretty
12) Google Madhuri Dixit online.
13) Please abstain from short forms while messaging. If you have the time to send a message it’s more than likely that you have the time to type out love instead of luv and tc and neway and gn.
14) If you want to know how exactly “lesbians do it” then look it up on the internet. I am as equally as unlikely to want to share details of my sex-life with you as I am to want to know yours. Thanks but No Thanks.
15) Same with how much money I make. The last time I checked we weren’t in the same competition.
16) I don’t like surprises. I’m working on it, so just so you know dropping into someone’s house is for relatives (which you can do nothing about). This is in the encyclopedia Britannica under the name why-is-it-so-noisy-here-question-mark.
17) Familiarity makes you exempt from the surprise clause
18) My mum is the best cook.
19) ☺
20) have you ever worn long-johns in the winter?
21) Title-case is for losers.
22) please don’t be a dumb-fuck please!!!
23) No matter how much I bitch about my family I will not hear a word against them
24) As my best friend said it is more important to be kind than it is to be clever- if I forget please forgive me and pray for me that I do better. Really.
25) I will try to do the same for you when you bang-call me (see 8.)
26) Ghee is not the same as Daalda. It is one of the few saturated fats that are good for you.
25) This is a great song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m2CJZiP4_Sc
26) With that said , if you’re still around…
27) HelloHiHowAreYou?

Let me see who can keep you from me now.

Tags

Satyananda

The Last Journey

You have gone on a journey in your youthful days
Of seeking and wondering who you are,
And what is the meaning and purpose of all.
Journey on bravely, have no fear,
For now you are no longer alone.
You are protected by a mantle of love,
And unseen hands guide and direct you.
Though your footsteps may falter, your strength seem weak,
Be assured you will reach that goal which you seek.
Journey on bravely and if you feel tired,
Give yourself time to pause and reflect
On the glory of the sublime heights before you.
For if you get too fatigued, you may fall prey
To temptations and thoughts of return.
What have you left that demands your return?
Your days of worldly ambition are over,
Though you may not yet have fully grasped this fact.
You still feel you belong neither here nor there,
But in truth you are already with me.
You have realized the emptiness of worldly life,
Yet have not attained to other planes of existence.
You are not certain of where you belong,
But I know who you are and where your home is,
And where you will find all the things that you seek.
What is past is over and cannot be restored.
It was all a part of the journey of your soul,
And your search to find your real self.
You have begun to realize what you really are
And what the purpose of your life really is.
If you return to the world now, you will be lost
And your life will have been spent in vain.
O child, keep your eyes fixed always on the goal!
You are my child who has returned lo me
Let me see who can keep you from me now.
You are surrounded by love and by light

Swami Satyananda Saraswati