Relationship-wise I’ve been through a dry spell of late.
I find myself having to resort to hook-ups for sex; but they are solely that -with people I wouldn’t commit anything to other than a ride back home. It’s not my idea of dating but it’s safe sex and with people I know. Friends with benefits if you will.
Conceding that I’m still getting some- my current choice of fuck buddies puts me in a dismal cycle of introspection that I don’t want to meander through.
In a room full of prospects, with boys and girls with the appropriate check marks why is it that noone catches my interest? There is attraction doesn’t go beyond a few words of converstion or a meeting or two at most.
Where is that zing, that hazy warmth or is that something I made up about past love and romance?
I’m gorgeous, bright and unattached and sometimes terribly lonely. I haven’t been in a serious relationship in a while and I miss the companionship.
I miss the fitting, the unsaid understanding, the combining of opposite energies, the sex with someone you care for.
I know I’ve hit some kind of wall when after numerous outings and pick-up lines, I’d much rather be at home with my dogs. Jaded isn’t a feeling I enjoy- this cannot be as good as it gets.